Cartman Gets an Anal Probe
While the boys are waiting for the school bus, Cartman explains the odd nightmare he had the previous night involving alien visitors abducting him from his bed. Meanwhile, Kyle and Stan try to convince Cartman that the dream was in fact, a reality.
Weight Gain 4000
When Cartman's environmental essay wins a national contest, America's sweetheart, Kathie Lee Gifford, comes to South Park to present this award on national television. While Cartman is busy bulking up for his TV debut, Mr. Garrison suffers flashbacks of childhood humiliation at the hands of Mrs. Gifford. Mr. Hat convinces Garrison to even the score once and for all, and together they hatch a malevolent plot to kill Kathie Lee! Stan, Kyle and Wendy must stop the deranged Mr. Garrison before it's too late.
Stan's Uncle Uncle jimbo and his Vietnam buddy, Ned, take the boys on a weekend trip to experience the finer points of camping, fishing and blowing animals to smithereens. An erupting volcano and a mysterious creature named Scuzzlebutt not only threaten the boys' excursion but endanger the entire town of South Park as well.
Big Gay Al's Big Gay Boat Ride
The big homecoming football game pits the South Park Cows against their arch rivals, the Middle Park Cowboys. Uncle Jimbo has convinced the rest of the town to bet heavily on his nephew, Stan, the star quarterback, to beat the sixty point spread. But when Stan discovers his new dog Sparky is gay, he becomes so confused he loses his will to play in the big game. A mysterious, magical new friend, Big Gay Al, helps Stan understand the wonders of being gay and sends him back into the game.
An Elephant Makes Love to a Pig
Stan notices a new addition in their bus stop crew -- a giant elephant standing alongside Kyle. But, Kyle's mom won't let him keep it because it's so huge. At school, class lessons for the day involve genetic engineering and Kyle questions the possibility of a genetically engineering a smaller elephant. The boys have to beat the rough kids in their genetics experiment, and will try anything to win.
At his grandfather's 102nd birthday, Stan is faced with a moral dilemma -- Grandpa's sole birthday wish is for Stan to be the assist in his assisted suicide. Mrs. Broflovski has organized a protest against the boys' favorite TV show, "Terrance and Phillip," and the South Park parents have left the kids on their own to follow Kyle's mom to the network headquarters in the big city.
Trick-or-treat in South Park is interrupted by an outbreak of pinkeye. While Stan, Kyle and Cartman are getting themselves ready for the school's Halloween party and costume contest, a mishap at the morgue transforms the residents of South Park into brain-eating zombies. The kids have to save the day before they can get down to the business of getting candy.
While trying to get a free promotional digital sports watch, the boys end up contacting an organization that helps starving children in Africa. Mistaking Cartman for a starving African child, government authorities send him to Ethiopia. Adding chaos to confusion, a flock of wild turkeys revolt after their treatment at the hands of the local genetic engineer. South Park is at the mercy of genetically altered turkeys.
Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo
Believe in Mr. Hankey! While South Park Elementary is attempting to stage a non-denominational holiday play that won't offend (or entertain) anyone, Kyle has checked himself into the South Park mental house. It's Christmastime in South Park and in this landmark episode, an unlikely hero saves the day.
Cartman is handing out invitations to his birthday party at school. Mr. Garrison informs the class that a new student will be joining them. The new kid is Damien, the son of Satan, and when he is shunned by the others he begins displaying his demonic powers on the playground. The children are more loathsome than impressed. Damien then calls upon his father to fight Jesus in the ultimate battle between good and evil.
It's almost Valentine's Day and love is in the air at South Park Elementary School. While Mr. Garrison deserts the class for a visit to Tom's Rhinoplasty, Stan, Kyle, Kenny, and Cartman all compete for the attention of Ms. Ellen, the new substitute teacher. Wendy sees Ms. Ellen as a threat to her relationship with Stan and is forced to take action when it looks like Ms. Ellen will stay in South Park.
The dawn of Zinthar is at hand! The boys' discovery of a prehistoric relic spawns a monster that threatens to destroy South Park and the world. Help is on the way however, in the form of an award-winning actor, a celebrated movie critic and a rock superstar. But are they enough to overcome the terror of Mecha-Streisand?
Cartman's Mom Is a Dirty Slut
Eric Cartman is in search of his father but no one is owning up to the job. Could it be Chef? Or is it Mr. Garrison? Or the 1989 Denver Broncos? It could be anyone who attended South Park's 12th Annual Drunken Barn Dance. Cartman just has to know, and only an expensive genetic test stands between him and the true identity of his father. Stan, Kyle and America's Stupidest Home Videos may be the answer to Cartman's prayers.